Best Foot Forward

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
-Albert Einstein

After yet more days of Spouse and I feeling less than positive about our health we opted to do some research and attempt to light upon a clue as to our recent alarming propensity for illness. I did thorough detective work and read numerous articles regarding our mysterious dual symptoms. Then, as we read some details together Spouse noted this:
"...nausea, headache, flu-like symptoms, general apathy and listlessness, hallucinations, abdominal pain, muscle stiffness..."
"Hallucinations?" asked Spouse curiously, and we hurriedly skimmed the text to absorb the facts on that particular symptom.
"Documented hallucinations in this case include anything from visions of ghostly figures to hearing footsteps."
Footsteps, indeed. Spouse and I looked at one another in silent mutual understanding. Either we have for months been blaming our overhead neighbours dreadfully wrongly or, quite the more likely scenario, we do not, mercifully, have that particular disease.