Two Wheels Ahead

Spouse and I are routinely outnumbered and outbid in this shark-eat-shark world of house hunting.
It became startlingly clear one weekend when we compiled a lengthy list of houses for sale and motored around to have a look.
There we were, poking around a perfectly acceptable house, when another couple stepped boldly inside and- the horror of it all- they too set about exploring the house, with an eye to claiming it.
Feeling smothered to a degree, and having seen enough of that particular construction, Spouse and I zoomed off to see the next available property.
Once on the premises, I made a comment or two about adding this bit, or removing that wall, and we were getting quite into the rhythm of the expedition when we glanced up to note the arrival of another couple. They too were seeking a house to buy; but they looked, I thought, awfully and devastatingly familiar.
I narrowed my eyes. It was Them.
Somebody somewhere made a little joke about being followed, and much raucous laughter ensued.
"Let's go," I hissed to Spouse. "Quick. Let's get to the next one before they do."
They gave the impression of being two wheels behind us but, no doubt, it was a ruse.
I have lofty thoughts of being so far ahead of the rascally couple that I am already ensconced in my armchair in my living room the next time they try an hour of house hunting: they will breeze through the door, cool as cucumbers, weighing up the possibilities, and I will say, grinning, "so sorry. I was here first. Tea, anybody?"